Sunday, June 15, 2008

Daddy Hunger

The past few years have been full of growing pains and life epiphanies and some things in life didn't make sense to me until I got a little bit older, that's why patience is a virtue. Lately... I've been giving a lot of thought to the things in this life that have help to shape the person that I was, and in reflection, a lot of the conclusions that I made about life before were only half truths, or even false truths (a reality created by a person in order to create a conclusion for themselves), it's like the lights were turned on at a movie set, or revealing the Great Wizard of oz was really just a man.

For many years I hated my father, and with many good reasons, my parents were divorced when I was 9 and it wasn't until I was 18 that I started looking at my father like he was part of my family and part of myself. But I also came to realize that my father wasn't a bad person he was just human. But, many things that my dad should have been there for in my life he wasn't, for my Freshman winter Ball in High School a local drug dealer paid for my pictures cause there just wasn't money for mom never knew that I just told her one of the other girls paid for it. My martial arts instructor Mr. Morrison gave me my foundation for discipline and taught me how to stand up and carry myself with respect. I thought my pops was a chump and had no good qualities until now, where I've come to value his advice on matters of business and finance and the passion for knowledge.

As a female I needed a strong male influence, and when it wasn't there I was hungry for it and searched it out other places. Even looking to the music I listened to and the movies that I watched, gravitating toward the archetypes that exhibited some type of code of honor and loyalty. I suppose it was the aspect of my life that was with out. I can only imagine what it would be like for a young man to "grow up" with out that influence around. Last year my homegirl So So Steph and I went to watch a documentary called "Daddy Hunger," at the community art center in the Fillmore run by London Breed who shared her story in the documentary. The film interviews people such as Fillmore Slim, JT the Bigga Figga, the creator of the film Ray Upchurch as well as a many others. It focuses on the African American community but the hunger for strong male role models is colorless. Happy Poppas Day! Peep out the Website

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