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Nina Parks': Reflection Eternal: Pin Me Up: Duality

As a young women I struggled with my own identity and self image, who I am vs what were the desires and expectations of others attention that I desired vs what I wanted to be. (Dizzy yet?) Finding that I was very uncomfortable with who I was (more rooted in my choices of action and inaction then what I looked like) I unconsciously developed a desire not to look at myself.

I found refuge, hiding behind the camera, being an observer and reflection of life but rarely allowing myself the blessing of the reflection received being on the opposite end of the lens.

I remember having a conversation with my cousin in my early twenties when she was questioning me about why I wore head wraps all the time, and in response I told her of my objection to being looked at as an object of desire, she in turn responded with, "So, what the fuck you gonna do? Wear a berka!!!?" and in my rebellion I responded with "Yes!! If that makes my point!"

But as time passed I realized that I felt restricted and a sense of shame towards being a women, not being fully proud of the duality of the nature of my true self.

I found that I was living up to the restrictions and philosophies of patriarchal and capitalistic thought, and placed myself into an evolutionary cage restricting my feminine identity would only do my future a disservice.

SO DECIDED THAT IT'S BULLSHIT TO LIVE IN FEAR OF MYSELF AND PINNED ME UP SO I'D NEVER FORGET! ;)

I am that, I am.

Snaps By: @onjackysheels

Nina Parks' :Reflection Eternal

There comes a time in every artist's life where there's a need to step back and really take a look at the creative landscape, soul search and keep creating. Graff writers and painters will step back from their paintings ever few strokes to see what their piece looks like and where they need to go next, envisioning their creation as it goes.

For Nina Parks, life is viewed through a lens, the medium an extension of her eye, and sometimes when she stepped back the perspective was still framed in the constraints of the lens.

Currently armed with her 50mm, she found that she had to work hard for her photos, needing to move and adjust stance and distance, as well as talk and charm her way in to locations.

" The Experiences with the 50 is amazing, the moments feel more intimate, I feel in control of my choice of weapon and honestly shooting with a 50mm builds your character. But, the frame is still fixed and the stories that I want to tell feel incomplete and with out full perspective."

As we covered earlier during Nina's recollection and reflection on participating in advocating for SF's Budget, she found herself feeling burnt out and empty giving all that she could give to a city that she Love's... but...

" The City... will only love you as much as you love your self... at the end of the day the people and their lives make up The City, the city does not make the people. It's an inanimate space brought to life by those who decide to be alive with in it's boundaries and the experiences that build the character of it's people."

After talking to several educators and activist, elders and artist, spiritual gurus, friends and enemies... their advice to Nina was this...

"Step back and look at yourself... see who you really are and do one of the hardest things ever... face yourself... what do you see?... not what do you want to see... but do you really see?... embrace who you truly are because this is you. At the end of the day when you close your eyes it is you with yourself. If you don't like portions in yourself or if you are unsatisfied with elements of your life then that is an argument that you have to take up with yourself... people can help guide you but ultimately it's your choice to evolve."

So Nina began to drop the camera from her eye... and really started to look at herself in the mirror...

It's been 3 years since "The Birth of Nina Parks" and since then she's been walking the fools journey... learning to crawl, walk, how to fall and what she needs to do to bounce back and how to give and take accordingly.

But... now it's how to be the Magician and manifest dreams into reality.....

Journey with her in to her dream world......

Shots from Silence the Violence